It's Time...Kenaya Look Back

                       I don't think I'll ever be fully over the emotions experienced on this trip. The emotions, the feelings, their unexplainable. My heart is heavy as I think back to the trip, to look at the pictures, and to re-read what I wrote in my journal.
                       I struggle a lot, just in everyday life with finding my place. Feeling like I belong some where. At the beginning of the trip I didn't feel as if I truly belonged, I couldn't seem to find my place, my spot so to speak. When I thought I finally grasped my place, I was quickly told it wasn't. So then, it was back to the drawing board. Those are the kind of things that stress me out, not a whole lot of order or organization. I spent some one on one time with God, and He repeatedly told me over, and over, and over, "Courtney, relax. Trust me. I've got a plan." I had to grasp on His reassurance, and rely on the fact that He's got me, He's got everything!
                      We visited Nairobi Chapel on Sunday morning of the trip. I went into service expecting it would be totally different. But just about in everyway possible, it was exactly like church here back home. I sat next to a woman namedTophister Amoit.

 She lit up the sky with her smile.She became a believer back in March, but was only stopping through Nairobi to try and find some money. She is one of 21 children! She told me that I was an answer to her prayer, because she had been praying to have someone to sit by in church. My heart quenched. Me? An answer to someone's prayer? And then, my heart broke. I had this feeling that she had to be crazy because we couldn't possibly develop an earthly friendship. But then, then everything inside me stopped, because even though we can't have an earthly friendship so to say, she is one of my sisters in Christ. As sisters in Christ, one day we'll be reunited in Heaven.
                    

                      God laid the word simplicity on my heart. Through out the entire week; simple, simple, simple. Enjoy the simplicity.
                      We played football (or in American's case, soccer) with the secondary school aged kids, all about our age. We played boys vs. girls the first day, and man do they have skills! I'm a very competitive person, so I really got into the games; it was the realest, most authentic fun I have had in a long time! To see the smiles across their face with just kicking a football (soccer ball) around made

me more happy than I can explain. I began to wonder, why can't we have this same contentment and happiness here at home, in America. As a friend of mine once said, "the poorer are richer," it is true, that less can be more. The next best thing can't possibly satisfy happiness. It's like an endless circle of unhappiness until we take a step back. The realization that material things don't make us happy because He is the one who created us, and only He can fill the God shaped holes that are in our hearts. And once we allow God to fill that hole, we'll be the happiest we've possibly ever been.

                Less is more.

                Simple is better.

                Take a step back.

                Robert & Rose Gitau. A couple with hearts of gold, and compassion. Words can only explain a little bit of their joyous smiles, giving hearts, and love for The Lord. I connected with Robert a bit, because like him, my dad was an alcoholic. His story blew my mind. He became a street kid a short while after his parents divorced. He said he was into to alcohol, but barely/hardly into drugs. Then one night, a man came through town with his guitar.  A guitar, and a passion for Christ that would soon change the course of Robert's life as he knew it. The man with the guitar could hardly play, and hardly sing either, but he played and sang regardless.

                        The words he sang, the cords he played grasped Roberts heart. "Where should I go but to the arms of The Lord?" The Lord isn't looking for the capable, He's looking for the available. Those who are willing to dedicate their lives to Him, and give Him their time. Robert sat there on those lyrics for a while, and then the next day, he went down to the river, just him and God, and gave his life to The Lord. Realizing that the way He was living wasn't where his heart was at.
                         I think back to this story constantly. If that man with the guitar didn't take up the opportunity The Lord placed before him, would Robert have repented? I then I think of my everyday life. How many people am I missing in my everyday life of bringing to the kingdom of God because I didn't take that chance, or because I was scared of what people may think of me.
                         I go to a school with over 5,000 students (10th grade - 12th grade),; how many of them actually know The Lord, and have a personal relationship with Him? How many of them could have a relationship with Him, if I wasn't so scared about stepping out of my comfort zone? Its mind boggling! I am guilty of hindering the kingdom of God because I am too worried about what others may think. No more. It's time to get real.
                       

                          Now, being here back in The States, 28 days later...I'm still not over everything I experienced. I probably never will be either. This was the first trip where I was truly and deeply emotionally connected to those I encountered. I cried during our goodbyes, and if you know me, I HATE CRYING, especially in front of other people. I look around at the concrete roads, close my eyes, and picture the red dirt. This since of not belonging over floods me. That I'm not supposed to here.
                         I have this call on my life that God has given me to love the lost in places where others wouldn't typically go. This call to get down and get dirty. Constantly I have to remind myself, that my time will come. That God has me where I am at with the resources I have for a reason. And to wait, to wait for Him to tell when.

                         And so I will wait. Wait for when He sends my someplace. Until then thought, I have millions around me who have yet to encounter the same love and affection I have felt from my Daddy in Heaven.
  

Flying to Kenya

        Flying is typically just a drag in all; however, these first two flights have gone by smoothly! 

        From my flight from Dallas to Detroit, I was fortunate to set next to a man named Sam. We literally talked the ENTIRE flight! 11am to 2pm! The others on my team were making jokes, "why didn't you talk about with that guy?!" And my answer is, I don't know. We talks about school, travel, religion, EVERYTHING!! 

     Then while at the food court in Detroit, a lady came up and asked me where we were heading. And when I told her Kenya, excitement spread across her face! She then began to explain how her church is partnered with people in Kenya, and that they recently built a church there. AMAZING!! God is all around! She had to go quickly to catch her flight, and exclaimed that she will be praying for us.

        Then while waiting at out gate, I spotted a group all wearing the same shirts. So with curiosity, I asked where they where heading. Turns out their heading to Ukraine for a missions trip! Spreading the kingdom of God, BOOYAH!!! We talked for a good chunk of time, and turns out they were on the same flight as us heading to Amsterdam! Which was even more awesome!! They gave me a complete run down of their ministry. And it turns out, one of the girls on their team was adopted out of Russia. And now goes and missions in Ukraine! 

    I was so fortunate to be able and exchange information with them. Now I'll be able to keep up with them & their ministry! 

    Then while on the plane to Nairobi, I sat next to a lovely lady who just so happened to originally be from Fort Worth, Texas!! How crazy awesome is our God! And her dad is the missions professor at Dallas Baptist University!! I was so lucky, because I was seating a good 20 rows away from the rest of my team. She was filled so many stories, it was amazing!!! 

       Can't wait to see what our Heavenly Father has in store for us the rest of our stay her in Kenya and what He has in store for me when I split off from the team and head over to Uganda!!!