The weekend of February 8th-10th I went to Winter Encounter with The Mvmnt (youth group from The Harvest church). Let me just say one thing, they don't call it an "encounter" for no reason. I encountered the father, son, and spirit this weekend in more ways than I could have ever thought of.
The first night, Pastor Daniel preached on "the now." He asked us one question that really hit me hard, "What are you waiting for to get serious about your call from God?" Serious about my call...well you see, I have work, and school, clubs, oh and did I forget to mention that I'm only 16?
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12
Excuses, excuses, excuses. Jesus does not say that He will wait to use us till we get a bit older, or a bit taller, no Jesus wants to use us, and He wasn't to use us...NOW! As humans, we are stuck in this thing called time, but Jesus, He is outside of time, He already knows!
While some may focus on the things I've done in my past, the gossiping, the alcohol, the cussing, the smoking, the lying...Jesus sees MORE! "You are altogether beautiful my darling, there is no flaw in you." -Songs of Songs 4:7 Will I choose to listen to the voice of my critics, or the voice of my creator?
Worship like there is no one around you! It's just you and God! It's all about Him! Don't worry about what your situation may be from day to day because God has the final word. It's easy to praise God for what He has done, and what He is doing. It's not easy to praise Him for what He is going to do. Do it anyways! Praise Him for what he is going to do through faith!
I wrote this in my journal during prayer one night at Encounter, "...I've never jumped; I've never prayed; I've never screamed as hard and as loud tonight as I ever have before. Crying out to my Heavenly Father means for much more to me now! I have to get real with my faith! I felt the Holy Spirit tonight. I felt Him holding me tight, telling me its all going to be okay because it ALREADY IS! God is not going to set me free, HE ALREADY HAS! I have to be faithful, NOW! If I'm not faithful NOW, where He has me, how will I be faithful where He has me going! TAKE MY EYES OFF OF MYSELF LORD, PUT THEM ON YOU!!!"
They challenged us to go to a deeper place. To move away from being a Christian in the shallow waters & become a disciple in the deep waters. To not just be hearers of God's word but to be doers. Want to do things for God!
"You have a false sense of security it you think the edge of the water with God is the safest. No, your at your safest when you are in the deep waters leaning on God's understanding & taking the risk!" -Pastor Daniel
Let go,
Release,
Go deep!
This past summer, my great-grandfather, Clifford Raymond Mittlestadt passed away into the arms of Jesus.
January 31, 2013 would have been his 82nd birthday. To say he wasn't on my mind the entire day would be a understatement because he is on my mind all day every day. No one will ever understand the amount of love and the relationship we had.
My dad is an alcoholic who isn't in my life. His dad wants nothing to do with me and has voiced that openly. I never met my mom's dad, not even seen a picture. And then there was my great-grandpa. My hero. My male role model. The one that I model how a man should treat a girl.
I was more than angry with God when he passed away; I was livid! It didn't make sense to me. I didn't understand God's master plan behind it all. My dog died, my dad is arrested for domestic violence, my parents divorce, and my great-grandpa dies all in a 10 month time frame.
Looking back, I was being so silly! I cursed God. Cursed Him for what though? My great-grandpa had been sick for 5 years and was in pain. I cursed Him for taking away the pain and taking Him back home, to His everlasting home.
What a total blonde move!
Sometimes, life is like looking through a fogged up windshield. We focus on what we can't see and don't focus on what we can. We don't see the bigger picture in life. God is the artist and we are the master piece being created brush stroke by brush stroke.
The bigger picture of this all, that I am finally coming to terms to realize is that God didn't take my great-grandpa to Heaven to hurt me. He did it for me to see the bigger picture. To take him out of pain, to take him to his true home, and to show me that there is a male who loves me and cares for me.
I've always known that God loves me and that He is with me 24/7. But did I truly, actually, deeply, & spiritually believe it? I hate to say it, but I'm not so sure I did.
And through this all, all the pain, hurt, and anger I went through the days and months following his death, God brought me to read the book Songs of Songs (or Songs of Solomon, depending on your Bible) in the Bible.
In Songs of Songs it talks about the love the man has for the body. I don't interpret this as if a man were looking lustfully over a woman and her "woman parts." No, I see it as the bride being us, the body of people, and He is Jesus. He refers to us as His beloved and as His love.
"Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves." -Songs of Songs 1:15
From beginning to end it talks nothing more than about the first confessing her love, the bride's dream of a lover, the wedding day, how He admires the bride, how together in love they stand firm, and then at the end it shows the bride longing for this true love.
The bride can only imagine a love so amazing, a love so real. And that love that is so amazing and so real can only be received through one thing alone and that is accepting Christ Jesus.
I've read this book several times; however, I have yet applied it to my life. And with the loss of my great-grandpa, I now see the purpose behind this love story in the Bible. It's purpose was to show me, on a personal level, that yes in fact the one male I thought ever truly loved me is gone. But God wanted me to see the bigger picture, to not focus on the bad and to realize that He loves me, and that He longs for me. That is my new love story.
Now, if boys thought it would be hard to live up to my great-grandpa's standard...try living up to the bar the Heavenly Father has set ;)
